I have a question for you. Did the title of this post evoke an eye roll? I read similar statements repeatedly on social media sites this past Sunday – Mother’s Day – and rolled my eyes… a lot. Every statement seemed to shine a laser beam on my mothering short comings. I appreciate that. So much. Okay, maybe not.
So, last week was mother’s day.
All hopes of perfection were thwarted last Sunday when the world rained (some little – some BIG) mishaps: broken A/C – broken washing machine – lost items at church. The kids were disappointed that fun plans were replaced with trips to Home Depot and appointments with A/C repairmen.
We were going to go blueberry picking. We were going to go on a bike ride. We were going to go out to dinner. The wiser more practical necessities trumped all the fun.
My six year old announced, “This is the worst Mothers Day ever!” I asked when Mother’s Day became about him and he replied bitterly, “I remember other Mother’s Days that were fun!”
He’s right. It wasn’t a fun day, and that’s exactly why I declared a DO-OVER. That’s right, we are going to re-do mothers day: a rescheduled blueberry picking outing, and a family announcement that, yeah, this day stunk, BUT it’s okay. We love you, and sometimes life gets messy.
If being a mom is not the hardest, most joy filled, anxiety-steeped, thoroughly sleep depriving, heart melting task – well, I don’t want to know what beats it. What I do know is that this title “Mom” is not an easy one.
Every stage has wonderful parts. Every stage has its challenges.
I’ve been a mom for almost nine years. I’ve read thousands of viral posts with titles such as:
“7 things you should never…”
“3 things to always…”
“the one thing every mom should…”
“4 ways to ensure your children are…”
and “8 ways to instill ___ in your child” – ad nauseam.
I eye-roll when those pop up, yet still force myself to read them. Why?! At the core of who I am, I want to be a good mom. I want to do right by these people I helped create. I, like every other mom, have arresting moments of fear; “What if I am ruining their life?”, “What if they grow up and hate me?”, “Am I making the right choice?”, and then there are the self barraging thoughts; “I will never be a super mom”, “I am so not THAT mom”.
I’m throwing in the towel on this perfect mom mess.
Here’s the bottom line…
I did not choose my children. They did not choose me. A source greater and wiser than me made the selection, and I trust He knows what’s best for all of us. He saw it a good fit, so why would I beat myself up daily, wondering if I’m what they need? Instead, I choose to trust that with God I am enough – that I am fully equipped to mother each of these little people. Because I didn’t choose them, and they didn’t choose me. We were given one another.
God Chose. He chose them to be my children. He choose me to mother them.
So, you are enough. I am enough. God is enough to equip us with all that we need to mother, raise, support, and care for these little people. That’s how to be the best mom in the universe: be who God made you, and love those God gave you.
The rest is just details.Sarah Deshaw